Usually when I visit zoos in dream world, I'm on my own, but last night my family came with me. It was my mother, three sisters, and daughter, and I had been invited to adopt the zoo's zebras. There were other animals I'd rather have adopted, but this was the species that had been selected for me. More than your regular adoption scheme, I was expected to take charge of the zebras and have official ownership, but first I had to inspect them. I was adamant that only the very best and cleanest specimens would do, so I went into a barn where they were paraded before me. Although not as grubby as I had feared, I was a little put out to discover that they were off the maneless variety, such as are housed at Colchester Zoo. I grumbled a little to my mother, but at the same time, I was worried about missing out on this unique opportunity, and I agreed to the adoption.
Immediately in front of the zebra paddocks were some glass tanks occupied by a strange species of plated snake with a name I could not pronounce but which had lots of O's and lots of C's. They were half buried in soil with only their coiled tails visible, segmented with bony ridges like a desert skink. At length, they began to unwind, spiralling up out of the earth. Lulu watched fascinated as they spun around like Catherine wheels, eventually rearing their wormy heads and striking opened mouthed at us. "Aggressive little buggers, aren't they?" I said, inspecting their rows of needle-like fangs brushing impotently against the glass. "I don't like them daddy," said Lulu before running away.
My mother and younger sisters decided it was time to move on and see some new animals. As we left the zebra house behind, my older sister Fallon joined us and said she'd been watching the koalas, which were in the same building. I told her I would have liked to see them too, but she told me not to bother, as they'd spent the whole time curled into tight balls and sleeping. We reached an enclosure that was home to golden lion tamarins, their orange tails dangling from a jumble of dense foliage like feathery lures. It was a steep drop down to their enclosure, separating guests with only a waist high wall. I leaned over and calculated how many stories down it would be, asking Dana if you she thought I would survive if I fell. "Probably," she replied, "but you'd be permanently crippled." I imagined myself lying there on the concrete, with tamarins poking my broken body.
