I am currently breakfasting at a holiday camp in Dorset, attempting to put down my last dream of 2022 with hyper children around me. I don't think this blog has any readers, but incase it does, I should point at that I have no desire, consciously or unconsciously, to have an affair or liaison with another woman. Dreams do as dreams do. In this dream, I was in the same job as in real life, only the location was the University of Essex, where I used to work. My colleagues were all the same, with some new additions. It was a Sunday when I decided to drive to campus to catch up on emails, not wanting to have a flooded inbox on the first day back after New Year. To my surprise the office was busy, but I logged onto the PC and instead of reading emails, I booted up Zoo Tycoon. Before long, a woman came over and asked me to move, as Sunday was her work day and she hotdesked at the same computer. I relinquished the PC and headed back to the car park.
On the way, I noticed that the squares were populated by lots of students in flamboyant outfits. They were celebrating the Vagina Monologues, an annual SU event. They seemed to be mostly lesbians, who all began to kiss at the same time. I weaved through them and climbed a steep grassy slope to the multi-storey carpark. The slope was full of cowpats, but I managed to successfully navigate them until I got to the very top and my trousers dragged through one. With my trousers coated in dung, I reached the carpark but couldn't remember where I parked. On the way up the staircase to the first floor, I snagged my car keys on the mesh railing and spent several minutes trying to free it. A group of boys walked past and helped me to get them free, then I was in my Citreon driving back to the holiday camp, which was only a 30 minute drive in the dream. There was a dream shift, and I was back in the office working, although I was the only one from my team present.
Before long, I was approached by a young woman from the arts and crafts department in the same building. She worked on the floor surrounded by fabric and textiles. I had seen her around before, but had made no effort to socialise with her or anyone else outside of my immediate team. She tried to make nice with me, but being stilted and repressed in the dream, I was not reciprocative. Later on, I received an email from my manager which annoyed me, so I decided to slack off for the rest of the day. I went over to the girl and sat down on the floor next to her, for a chat. She was visibily delighted by my sudden sociability and went to make me one of her special teas. She was dressed all in pink with dyed hair, and was a cross between Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, Brooklyn from Camp Cretaceous, and Enid from Wednesday, yet definitely more on the hippy dippy side. I was still socially awkward at this point, but I apologised for my aloofness, and the girl, who I think was called Ingrid, said she would give me a tour of the campus.
There was a festival atmosphere, with everyone dressed in extravagant oufits for Guy Fawkes night. Stalls were set up all around, flogging food and drink, arts and crafts, herbs and spices. There were entertainment booths with weaponry displays, a haunted house, archery practice, homemade knick-knacks. Ingrid introduced me to lots of weird and wacky people around campus, gently ribbing me for not having made the effort before, and chastising me for not remembering anyone's name. She held my hand as she led me around, and I felt self-conscious that colleagues might see us together and think I was cheating on my wife. She left me at a group of stalls whilst she flitted off to meet some other people, telling me she would be back shortly. There was a pets stall, and one for alchemy with various potions for sale. Here I met Thomas Felton, the actor who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films. He was dressed as Malfoy, but was a very agreeabe chap to talk to and not at all like his character. My awkwardness gradually melted away as the dream progressed.
Ingrid returned and became very flirtatious. Some of her female friends began to make comments about us being a couple, and I did not put a stop to it. The animal brain was taking over, thoughts of my family life and church vows diminishing under the onslaught of this vivacious young woman. She was not my type at all, and her skin was rather bad, but it had been a long time since I had had my ego stroked, and I was succumbing to her charms. I asked if I could have another of her teas, which she deciphered into a metaphor for something else. She led me to a colleague's former office, which she assured me would be safe from the prying eyes of other staff members. We went inside and pulled down the blinds, but just before we embraced, I noticed a dark Muslim woman sitting in the corner at a PC. We pulled apart and made our excuses. Ingrid then led me down a spiral metal staircase outside. Halfway down, she stopped, bared her breast, and flung herself at me. I did not resist, but after a few hurried kisses, I pulled away, overcome with shame and guilt. I insisted that we go back to the main office for a cup of tea, and I awoke not long after.
