The Neglected Horse

 Sometimes I dream about having to care for an animal I have no experience with, resulting in a series of disastrous husbandry blunders. A couple of weeks ago it was a horse, and whilst having some limited experience with horses when I was much younger, I had no clue what I was expected to do. Indeed, to begin with, I did not even know that I had a horse, much less was expected to take care of one. It was a fine summer's day and I was out in the country, my family and loved ones scattered here and there following their own leisure pursuits. A skinny nag, not unlike Don Quixote's long-suffering Rocinante, trotted over to me, a nosebag attached to its head. 'This is my horse' thought I, as I gingerly attempted to mount her. After a few false starts whereupon I fully expected to feel a swift hoof ploughing into my midriff, I managed to attain the saddle.

I took the horse along a country trail at a modest plod, trying to remember the riding lessons I had learned so long ago. When my confidence had increased slightly, I moved from a walk to a trot, but was unwilling to go any faster. My sisters came towards me on horses of their own, more experienced and fully enjoying a spirited canter. "Show offs..." I grumbled. I noticed that my steed was agitated and kept trying to veer off the track looking for food. I leaned over her neck and saw with dismay that the nose bag was zipped shut, meaning the horse had probably not fed for quite some time. I opened the bag to let the horse feed, which it promptly did, gulping down the expired food that had turned into an unappetising brown sludge at the bottom of the bag.

My next concern was where to stable the horse, and where to let her graze. As anyone from the country knows, every field, hedge, dike, and ditch is owned by some red-faced, land rover driving nincompoop, so you may imagine my consternation in allowing the horse to graze just anywhere. Thus overburdened with this dilemma, I remounted the horse and turned her back the way I had come, hoping to find someone to advise me in my predicament. This dream was no doubt born from the anxiety currently ruining an otherwise idyllic existence, namely that of undergoing weekly driving lessons and feeling my complete inadequacy in the enterprise.