Toilet Spider

Of late my dreams have been obfuscated by matters that appear pressing but which in due course I will denounce as being of little import. One dream that I do remember involved the brutal rape of a wildebeest by a gang of squaddies, after which the beast then tried to inflict the same trauma upon me. The dream was spent in a harried state, rushing from room to room at a holiday chalet whilst the enraged gnu attempted to penetrate me. I do not give this dream its own entry, as I left it too long and the finer details have since eluded me. Perhaps for the best. 

Last night's dream also involved being chased by an animal, which is what reminded me of the above. I was studying French at university, and about to start my first class of the term, which was in the evening. I decided to visit the toilets first, and after going about my business I was dismayed to discover that the hand dryer was swarming with large black and yellow spiders. They looked exotic and poisonous, so I quickly wiped my hands on my trousers and went into the classroom next door. The lesson was already underway, and the teacher was a severe looking old woman with short grey hair. So much for my hopes of a chic fashionista! 

I took a seat at the back of the class and attempted to elude notice. Unfortunately, nothing escaped this teacher's beady eye, and she demanded to know my name, and why I was late. I apologised and explained the situation in the men's toilets, which I thought would be sufficient to let me off the hook. Without batting an eyelid at the report of a potentially dangerous spider swarm, she asked if I had notified security and I quickly lied that I had. She nodded and the class recommenced. After a short while, the teacher asked me what my hobbies and interests were. I asked if I should reply in French, to which she replied "no". I reeled off the usual - literature, creative writing, zoology, classical music, etc.

At the end of class, my friend Kate, who was also studying French, asked me to show her the spiders. We crept into the toilets but only one spider reminded, a big, pulsating bastard with vivid markings like a wasp. I am not an arachnophobe by any stretch of the imagination, in fact I'm rather fond of spiders, but Kate gasped and ran away. The spider appeared to see me, and it pounced. I joined Kate in her mad escape down the corridor. Looking back I saw the spider land with a plop on the floor and come scuttling after me at frightening speed. When it was close, it made another leap and almost caught me. I changed direction and ran back the way I had come, but the tenacious creature kept on me, determined to land a bite. I may have been screaming both in the dream and in real life...